“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.”
~The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
Two weeks ago I had my epiphany about Union, and I stayed in that wonderful place for several days. A series of events led to me see my twin in person for the first time in over three months, and soon after talking to him, and being able to hug him, I lost my Zen… and I started to really miss him, in a deep, gut-wrenching way.
I know that separation is an illusion. This is a fact that is hammered into us in every blog, course, and support group for those of us on this path. I know that we are connected. But, and this is important, separation is also real. (Gasp! I may lose my TF Card any second now!) We experience separation in a very concrete 3D way that is painful – even downright agonizing. It is a pain unlike any other. It is a soul-wrenching, lying on the floor, crying your eyes out, begging God, the Universe, Spirit, or Source to just grant you peace. To let you go back to a ‘normal’ life. To lift what feels like an impossible task from you.
It is this pain, however, that will grant you clarity. It is the painful reality of separation that produces the laser-focused lens into your inner self that allows you to see what needs to heal. Which parts of yourself you don’t love, which limiting beliefs you must let go of, what your deepest fears are, and how you need to align with your purpose – these are the insights that may be gained with lightening speed when you experience the pain, the very real pain, of separation.
The more and more I step into myself, the more people I lose. And that is hard. Add to that the pain of separation from my twin, and then it becomes almost brutally indescribable. But not stepping into myself is no longer an option. And that means I have to really trust the Universe. On one level, I always have felt that things will work out in the end. I need to deepen that trust, that faith. The saying of ‘it will all be okay in the end, and if it is not yet okay, it is not yet the end’ is above my mirror – and I do believe it. But this middle part – let’s be honest – this part is a bitch. And this brings me back to my epiphany. This journey is about balance. It is embracing and loving the shadows as much as the light. It is the willingness to confront your personal dragons and bring them into the light that allows you to step into your personal power.
I’m reminded of the film How to Train Your Dragon. The Night Fury was the most feared, and believed to be the deadliest, of all the dragons. Once Hiccup faced his own fears, and confronted the dragon, he realized the dragon was just as scared as he was. And the deadly Night Fury became his best friend, helped him discover his true purpose and his life path, which in turned transformed his entire community. And, Toothless also helped Hiccup get the girl! Maybe part of the DreamWorks Animation team are also Twin Flames!
Know that you are not alone. We all go through it. Personally, I am looking forward to training this next dragon, and getting one day closer. Wishing you success in your own dragon training.