As an empath, I have always been sensitive to the energy and emotional state of others. This is a blessing and a burden, for when you observe and are told things, but you are feeling another energy that is contrary to this, it results in emotional and cognitive dissonance. It can unsettle you and leave you feeling unable to fully trust people. As you learn to listen to your gut – your intuition – you learn a variety of coping skills that allow you navigate your life. You learn to maintain a certain amount of distance on physical, energetic, and emotional levels when you are in public. You learn to hide your own emotions, to build walls, to shield yourself from other people’s energy, and to protect yourself from energetic vampires. Some of us learn this more quickly than others….
When an empath is in a relationship, they will often read their partner’s emotions and motivations with unerring accuracy. They ‘know’ what is going on without being told. By the time an empath is an adult, they usually know what emotions are theirs and which belong to the other person, for even though they still feel them, they are able to distinguish the difference. When, however, the process of soul merge begins between Twin Flames, when 5D Union begins, an entirely new level of emotional radar develops. Whilst I am sure this occurs with all twins, I do believe for those of us who are already deeply empathic it may be more intense and/or develop earlier. During this time, you begin to feel the emotions of your twin rising from your own center, your core, and they often hit you without warning. You can learn to distinguish between which emotions are yours, and which are your twin’s, but the difference is incredibly subtle.
After a sequence of events over the past few weeks in which I had multiple people tell me that I should give up on my twin and move on with my life, I experienced a storm of emotions. I was told that I was being triggered – that I was fearing the loss of my twin – but I knew I wasn’t. I know I will never lose the connection with my twin. I was feeling my twin around me constantly, and I know in my soul that what is in alignment with the highest good for us both is unfolding. I was not experiencing fear of loss, but, and here is the plot twist – my twin was!
Whether it was telepathically or empathically, my twin was sensing what I was being told to do, and how I was responding. I was telling these men that I am not waiting for him (I’m not – I do expect him to come to me, but that is different). I explained that if a truly amazing man knocks on my door, that I am open and willing to explore other options (which I am, because if that is the highest good for everyone involved, then I must remain open to that possibility). I was stating these things because they are true, but also because I did not want to argue with people who are only able to see my relationship with my twin from the perspective of the 3D paradigm.
I am positive that my twin was picking up on this because after having these conversations multiple times over the course of several days (I was at a healing retreat) I woke up on the final morning feeling terribly agitated, anxious, and unsettled. A friend told me I didn’t seem like myself, and I wasn’t. But I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling so ‘off’. That evening I received an email from my twin (we are currently in separation). He asked how I was and if I was away… I replied and let him know that yes, I was away and I would be home in a couple of days. About fifteen minutes passed, and I was suddenly calm and peaceful. The transformation was significant enough that my friend and I both noticed it! I checked my email to see if he had read my reply, and he had, for he had replied just a couple of minutes before I checked. This indicated to me that much of what I had been feeling was related to his emotions – for as soon as he had email confirmation of our connection still being intact, through the fact that I responded, after which his emotions lifted – I received energetic confirmation of our connection by the energetic shift in my own emotion levels.
What this illustrates is that as an empath, although you can be attuned to the energy that impacts you which is from others because it comes from outside of yourself, it is much harder to determine where emotions are coming from when they feel like they originate inside of you. For that is how these emotions felt – they were rising up inside of me, yet they did not fully ‘feel’ like they were mine. This brings me to the concept of Emotional Looping. As you connect with your twin more and more on an energetic level, you may begin to experience this. Now, when the emotions are happiness, hope, and joy, getting caught in an ever-expanding loop which increases these feelings is wonderful!!! But, when the emotions are despair, fear, angst, or otherwise unpleasant, and this same looping occurs, it leads into a downward spiral. And learning to determine if it is your own emotional response or your twin’s is challenging. As I have experienced this more and more in the past few weeks (I suspect my twin is going through some tough things right now), I am starting to recognize the signs of emotional looping more easily. If I am hit, seemingly from nowhere, with a wave of heavy emotions and nothing has really happened in my environment that would support these feelings, then they are usually not mine, at least not entirely – and my twin may have initiated an emotional loop. If I do experience frustration, anger, or sadness, and it starts to expand into something bigger and more painful, then there is a chance that I have started the emotional loop. This looping effect then drags both of our vibrations down… which isn’t helpful or productive for our journey towards union on all levels.
So, what helps? First of all, just recognizing that this may be a factor is helpful, because it allows you to detach from the emotions and evaluate what is happening with more objectivity. Second, I have found that using my pendulum and number chart allows me to determine what percentage is mine, what is my twin’s, and what I am picking up from the collective – which is often more that I have expected, so do me a favour gang, and clear your energy!!! Once I have done this, I ask that what is not mine be lifted from me, and then I look for the lesson the emotions are bringing to my attention so they can be cleared, healed, or otherwise transmuted. I have found that meditation, smudging, salt baths, Qigong, Reiki, SRT, sound healing therapy, acupuncture, writing, singing, and praying are all helpful. Work with whichever modalities resonate with you the most strongly. The important thing is to break the looping cycle and move into alignment with the energies of joy, hope, and love. Once I have returned to these higher vibrational energies and emotions, I send love to my twin, for although it is necessary for him to feel and deal with his emotions, I can still send love, and ask for him to be given the support and guidance he most needs for his journey and for his soul growth. I also then send a burst of love and light through the collective field, because since separation is an illusion, I know I will feel better if we are all feeling better.
So, if you are feeling caught in a downward spiral, check in. See if it is all truly your own. If it is not, then asked Spirit to return it to where it originated. Deal with what is yours. Clear yourself and your environment, and move back into the higher energetic fields where you belong.
Come to the light side - we have love, joy, freedom, and empowerment!